Sunday, April 22, 2012
Just for today, I will stop running from the pain of regret, shame, guilt, loss and all other anguish borne in my drinking days. While I cannot and will not embrace my pain, I must finally come to terms and reconciliation with it. By taking each Step in the Program with absolute honesty and the wisdom of my Higher Power's leadership, I will instead look to the lessons to be learned from my actions that eventually pooled together to create the pain I may still carry. Regret and shame might be eased by perhaps the single strongest amend I can make: by not drinking today. I can release guilt by learning from the mistakes of my behavior that created it, and the sense of loss might be less painful if I can be grateful that I even had what I lost and accept that I might not have been ready to be responsible for what I had but lost. Today, I will work on weaking the hurt of pain not by running from or denying it, but by confronting it and find the comfort in it - and even in pain, there is comfort. But, in the end, if I deny or do not allow myself to feel and deal with the pain, the good might not feel as good as it might otherwise. And our common journey continues. Just for today. - Chris M., 2012
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