Saturday, May 31, 2014

As 45th anniversary of beginning nears, why fight for LGBT rights?

The Good Men Project: May 31, 2014 -Why Fight for L.G.B.T. Rights? -

Westboro threatens picket of "fag enabler" Maya Angelou's funeral

Yeah, guys gets mood swings, too, and here's how to figure 'em out

Obama officially proclaims June National LGBT Pride Month

May 31, 2014 - Today's Gift from Hazelden

Saturday, May 31, 2014
Today's thought from Hazelden is:

If one is going to be truthful, one has to be very tender.
 -- Florida Scott-Maxwell


Honesty is always the best policy, right? We glibly recite that saying, but it's important to reevaluate its meaning when we are eager to correct or direct the actions of the other people. If being honest will unnecessarily harm them, perhaps being silent is better.

The program is helping us restructure our lives. We discover that many former, automatic responses no longer fit who we desire to be. That means we have to try new, less-practiced behaviors, such as being honest without being harsh or critical.

Learning tenderness is possible. With the help of this program and one another, we are learning to express the acceptance and love that have been given to us by our Higher Power. Giving away what we have been given is sharing the truth absolutely.

I will not hurt anyone today by any comment. I will truthfully share the love and acceptance I have been given.
From the book:
A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey. © 1994 by Hazelden Foundation

May 31, 2014 - Step by Step

Step by Step
Saturday, May 31, 2014
"...(D)eep down in every man, woman and child is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 ("We Agnostics"), p 55.
Today, if I expect AA to work for me, I must expect myself to work with it, and I must knock down the wall that separates me from a power stronger than myself to begin my recovery from alcoholism. If I am struggling or even rejecting the possibility of such a power, let me read and embrace these words from the Big Book and accept on blind faith the hope that somewhere inside me is a "fundamental idea of God." He, God, need not be a religious entity but a spiritual one, and a "spiritual awakening," even if it is a basic change in my psyche or character, is required if I am to achieve any kind of quality recovery. Today, I must put aside any resistance and open myself to the idea of a power stronger than myself so that I can earn the benefits of recovery. If alcohol is stronger than me, I have to believe and hope that a force stronger than alcohol can restore me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2014

May 31, 2014 - Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Saturday, May 31, 2014

AA Thought for the Day
I shall not wait to be drafted for service to AA. I shall volunteer. I shall be loyal in my attendance, generous in my giving, kind in my criticism, creative in my suggestions, loving in my attitudes. I shall give to AA my interest, my enthusiasm, my devotion and, most of all, myself.

Do I also accept this as my AA credo?

Meditation for the Day
Prayer is of many kinds but, of whatever kind, prayer is the linking up of the soul and mind to God. So, if prayer is only a glance of faith, a look or a word of love or just a feeling of confidence in the goodness and purpose in the universe, still the result of that prayer is added strength to meet all temptations and to overcome them. Even if no supplication is expressed, all the supply of strength that is necessary is secured because the soul, being linked and united to God, receives from Him all spiritual help needed. The soul, when in its human body, still needs the things belonging to its heavenly habitation.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may be taught how to pray. I pray that I may be linked through prayer to the mind and will of God.

Hazelden Foundation

May 31, 2014 - A Day at a Time

A Day at a Time
Saturday, May 31, 2014

Reflection for the Day
Giving love is a fulfillment in itself. It must not matter whether love is returned or not. If I give love only to get a response on my terms, my love is cancelled out by my motives. If I have the capacity to give love, then any return I get for it is a special bonus. It is through giving love freely and without expectation of return, that we find ourselves and build ourselves spiritually.

Have I begun to believe, in the words of Goethe, that, "Love does not dominate; it cultivates ...?"

Today I Pray
May I, the inveterate people-pleaser and approval-seeker, know that the only real love does not ask for love back. May God be patient as I try to practice this principle. May I rid myself of pride that throws itself in the way of love. May I discard my silly cat-and-mouse games that have no place in real love.

Today I Will Remember
I will not give love to get love.

Hazelden Foundation

May 31, 2014 - The Eye Opener

The Eye Opener
Saturday, May 31, 2014

For a person to attempt to live apart from this world is as useless as for a drop of water to live apart from the ocean. God put everything in this world, and He takes nothing out. To endeavor to withdraw from the world's activities is another way of fooling yourself. We are an influence for good or evil regardless of our attempts to hide from society at large.

When a rock falls from a cliff into the sea, it is not merely that the land is one rock less, it means the contour of the whole continent has changed. However, it is still a part of God's Universe whether it can be seen by man or not.

Hazelden Foundation

Friday, May 30, 2014

Gay Republican groups denied booths at Texas GOP convention

Anti-gay Christian group refusing mail sent with Harvey Milk stamp

California lawmakers consider banning "gay panic" defense in homicide cases

ACLU asks judge to order Michigan to recognize 300+ same-sex marriages

Recovery and the long road back to self-respect

The Good Men Project: May 30, 2014 -The Road to Self-Respect -

May 30, 2014 - Today's Gift from Hazelden

Friday, May 30, 2014
Today's thought from Hazelden is:

At fifteen life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice.
 -- Maya Angelou


We had to surrender to a power greater than ourselves to get to where we are today.  And each day, we have to turn to that power for strength and guidance.  For us, resistance means struggle - struggle with others as well as an internal struggle.
Serenity isn't compatible with struggle.  We cannot control forces outside of ourselves.  We cannot control the actions of our family or our co-workers.  We can control our responses to them.  And when we choose to surrender our attempts to control, we will find peace and serenity.
That which we abhor, that which we fear, that which we wish to conquer seems suddenly to be gone when we decide to resist no more - to tackle it no more.
The realities of life come to us in mysterious ways.  We fight so hard, only to learn that what we need will never be ours until the struggle is forsaken.  Surrender brings enlightenment.
Life's lessons are simple once I give up the struggle.

The program is helping us restructure our lives. We discover that many former, automatic responses no longer fit who we desire to be. That means we have to try new, less-practiced behaviors, such as being honest without being harsh or critical.

Learning tenderness is possible. With the help of this program and one another, we are learning to express the acceptance and love that have been given to us by our Higher Power. Giving away what we have been given is sharing the truth absolutely.

I will not hurt anyone today by any comment. I will truthfully share the love and acceptance I have been given.
From the book:
Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

May 30, 2014 - Step by Step

Step by Step
Friday, May 30, 2014 
"The old pattern reasserted itself, but it was no longer once every six months. The intervals grew shorter. The binges were longer. They were harder to get off. I wasn't the type that could taper off. I had to stop cold. My last binge followed the previous one by two weeks. I had just come off a good one, and I went back on to the next one." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Lost Nearly All," Ch 3 ("Desperation Drinking"), p 514. 
Today, let me guard against the passage of time and my last drunk from fading the memory of what my drinking days were really like - pure desperation. If it is true that the best predictor of my future is my past conduct, I cannot afford to "romanticize" my drinking, that it was "fun" and that it didn't rip a path of destruction through myself and others. God grant me the honesty and wisdom to remember the desperation that finally pushed me to ask for help after I exhausted all the denial, justifications and rationalizations. Let me understand and accept that desperation is all that awaits me again if I am not honest with myself in remembering what active alcoholism is truly like. Today, the desperation that is always there to greet me again can wait. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2014

May 30, 2014 - Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Friday, May 30, 2014

AA Thought for the Day
I am part of AA, one among many, but I am one. I need the AA principles for the development of the buried life within me. AA may be human in its organization, but it is Divine in its purpose. The purpose is to point men toward God and a better life. Participating in the privilege of the movement, I shall share in the responsibilities, taking it upon myself to carry my fair share of the load, not grudgingly but joyfully. To the extent that I fail in my responsibilities, AA fails. To the extent that I succeed, AA succeeds.

Do I accept this as my AA credo?

Meditation for the Day
"Praise the Lord." What does praising God mean? It means being grateful for all the wonderful things in the universe and for all the blessings in your life. So praise God by being grateful and humble. Praise of this kind has more power to vanquish evil than has mere resignation. The truly grateful and humble person who is always praising God is not tempted to do wrong. You will have a feeling of security because you know that fundamentally all is well. So look up to God and praise Him.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may be grateful for all my blessings. I pray that I may be humble because I know that I do not deserve them.

Hazelden Foundation

May 30, 2014 - A Day at a Time

A Day at a Time
Friday, May 30, 2014

Reflection for the Day
Since I've been in The Program, I've learned to redefine love. I've come to understand, for example, that sometimes it's necessary to place love ahead of indiscriminate "factual honesty." No longer, under the guise of "perfect honesty" can I cruelly and unnecessarily hurt others. Today, I always must ask myself, "What's the best and most loving thing I can do?"

Have I begun to sow the seeds of love in my daily living?

Today I Pray
May God, in His love, show me how to be loving. May I first sense the feelings of love and caring within me and then find ways to show those feelings. May I remember how many times I cut myself off from relationships because I did not know how either to let myself feel love or to show what I did feel.

Today I Will Remember
When I feel love, I will be loving.

Hazelden Foundation

May 30, 2014 - The Eye Opener

The Eye Opener
Friday, May 30, 2014

We are all familiar with that class of people who have a drinking problem; they know they have it and they know that they can do nothing about it themselves. They also know that we had a similar problem and that we did something about it; their own eyes bear testimony to that effect - yet they refuse to take the message we bring them. They have ears, yet they will not hear. It is not our purpose to sell them a bill of goods. Our message is only for those who want it. They aren't ready yet, so conserve your efforts for those who are hungry for what we have to give.

Hazelden Foundation

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Yes, bisexual men do exist and want to emerge from bi-invisibility

"The Normal Heart" and the erasing of women

Video - A married father, a drinking problem and being gay: One man's coming out

Canadian Olympian luger John Fennell latest athlete to come out as gay

NOM hit with $50,000+ fine in Maine, ordered to disclose donors list

Kennedy asks for briefs on NOM request to halt same-sex marriage in Oregon

Elliot Rodger: When sexual rejection turns deadly

The Good Men Project: May 29, 2014 -Elliot Rodger: When Sexual Rejection Turns Deadly -

May 29, 2014 - Today's Gift from Hazelden

Thursday, May 29, 2014
Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Using today's tools

Are we becoming stuck in the "if onlys"? "If only I had more money." "If only I were more attractive." "If only my parents had listened to Dr. Spock." The "if onlys" will get us nowhere. We would do better to think about what we have to work with today.

Do we remember that we are fortunate just to be alive? Are we grateful that, one day at a time, we are clean and sober? Do we keep in mind that we have at our disposal the Twelve Step program and all its tools? When we dwell in the "if onlys," we get stuck in yesterday. But what we have to work with today are "today's tools," and if we use them well, we'll have no need for the "if onlys."

Am I using the tools I have today?

God, help me to recognize today's tools and to become willing to use them.
From the book:
Day by Day © 1974, 1998 by Hazelden Foundation

May 29, 2014 - Step by Step

Step by Step
Thursday, May 29, 2014 
"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." - Step Two 
Today, whether a newcomer or veteran of the Program, if the term Higher Power discourages me because my faith has been ravaged by alcohol or the less than serene episodes of sobriety, let me re-read and understand the literal interpretation of Step Two. We are not asked or mandated by this Step to believe, but come to believe in the possibility of a Higher Power. If I shrug off the possibility of some being stronger and greater than myself, I need only look to why I came to AA in the first place: by doing that, I also reached out for the possibility that some help that I need desperately exists. By the same measure, if I cannot yet grasp the concept of a higher power, let me believe that Step Two is telling me that coming to believe in and accept a Power greater than myself is a dynamic process, one that requires ongoing change. Just as I did not become sober after my last drink and probably needed weeks, months or longer to move from being dry to being sober, so it goes with developing an understanding of the principles of all Twelve Steps. Today, I will not give up if I do not  believe in that higher power; instead, I will proceed with the promise of Step Two that I will one day find my Higher Power. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2014

May 29, 2014 - Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Thursday, May 29, 2014

AA Thought for the Day
We who have learned to put our drink problem in God's hands can help others to do so. We can be used as a connection between an alcoholic's need and God's supply of strength. We in Alcoholics Anonymous can be uniquely useful just because we have the misfortune or fortune to be alcoholics ourselves. Do I want to be a uniquely useful person?

Will I use my own greatest defeat and failure and sickness as a weapon to help others?

Meditation for the Day
I will try to help others. I will try not to let a day pass without reaching out an arm of love to someone. Each day I will try to do something to lift another human being out of the sea of discouragements into which he or she has fallen. My helping hand is needed to raise the helpless to courage, to strength, to faith, to health. In my own gratitude, I will turn and help other alcoholics with the burden that is pressing too heavily upon them.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may be used by God to lighten many burdens. I pray that many souls may be helped through my efforts.

Hazelden Foundation

May 29, 2014 - A Day at a Time

A Day at a Time
Thursday, May 29, 2014

Reflection for the Day
When we first reached The Program and for the first time in our lives stood among people who seemed to understand, the sense of belonging was exhilarating. We felt that the problem of isolation had been solved. We soon discovered, however, that while we weren't alone any more, in a social sense, we still suffered many of the old pangs of anxious apartness. Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn't belong. Step Five was the answer.

Have I found through the Fifth Step the beginning of true kinship with my fellows and God?

Today I Pray
May God help me learn to share myself, my attributes and my failings, not just as I take the Fifth Step but in a continuing give-and-take process with my friends. May I cultivate an attitude of openness and honesty with others, now that I have begun to be honest with myself. May I remember who I used to be - the child in a game of hide-and-seek, who hid so well that nobody could find her/him and everyone gave up trying and went home.

Today I Will Remember
I will be open to friendship.

Hazelden Foundation

May 29, 2014 - The Eye Opener

The Eye Opener
Thursday, May 29, 2014

Life has been hard on us, but most of it was made hard by ourselves. The hard life, however, taught us much: it strengthened our muscles; it broadened our experiences. We are better men because of it. We have known much of hunger, pain, defeat, mental anguish, despair and shame. Only the good survived this ordeal, and we can alleviate the sufferings of the world all the better because we have suffered also.

God was not punishing us ...He was conditioning us.

Hazelden Foundation

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Acting icon Robert De Niro on his father's struggle with being gay

Ending the 'ordinary' abuse of young men and boys

The Good Men Project: May 28, 2014 -Ending The ‘Ordinary’ Abuse Of Young Men And Boys -

A male perspective on how society teaches men to abuse women

NOM files petition with Supreme Court to halt same-sex marriage in Oregon

Census Bureau to recognize married same-sex couples as families

Actor Matt Bomer on his personal story behind his performance in 'The Normal Heart'

May 28, 2014 - Today's Gift from Hazelden

Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Thought for the week: Learn a new skill

It's an esteemable act to have the courage to learn something new.

Affirmations for the week:

I am willing to learn a new skill. This week, I will do something I'm not yet good at.

Esteemable actions for the week

Have you ever avoided doing something because it was too hard or too scary? Have you ever not learned a new skill because you were afraid you'd make a mistake or just look silly? If you're like most of us, you've been there - done that. And like many people, you've missed out on a great deal of fun and opportunity because you were afraid to learn something new.

Think of things you're good at. Now remember the first time you did that activity. I bet you weren't very good. Actually, if you're like me, you had to try, try, and try again before you got into the swing of things. Am I right? Yet it was the conscious, consistent practice of that new skill that ultimately made you proficient and confident that you could do it. Think about how good you felt when you finally got it right.

No question about it, learning a new skill is hard, it's scary, and at times it's embarrassing. In the past, each time I tried something new and didn't get it the first time, I wanted to give up. It felt like the end of my world. But I didn't give up. There are even days when I know what I'm doing and still feel like I'm off the beam. And on those days, I just don't give up.

Today I know whatever I'm experiencing is part of my learning process, whether it's using my computer or speaking in front of an audience. My job is to remain teachable.
From the book:
52 Weeks of Esteemable Acts © 2005 by Francine Ward

May 28, 2014 - Step by Step

Step by Step
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Today, I realize that my moral inventory in the Fourth and amends in the Eighth are not confined to my wrongs of commission but also apply to my wrongful acts of omission. With that reality, my Fourth and Eighth Steps, hopefully, will be more honest. My moral inventory and amends I have tried have focused on things I have done or said, but they have not included my wrongs of having not said or done what I should have. Maybe I neglected or refused to return love or support that someone showed me in my darkest days, or maybe I didn't answer someone's call for help for whatever reason. Today, I return to my Fourth and Eighth steps to decide if I owe restitution not for what I did, but for what I didn't do. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2014

May 28, 2014 - Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Wednesday, May 28, 2014

AA Thought for the Day
In AA, we learn that since we are alcoholics we can be uniquely useful people. That is, we can help other alcoholics when perhaps somebody who has not had our experience with drinking could not help them. That makes us uniquely useful. The AA's are a unique group of people because they have taken their own greatest defeat and failure and sickness and used it as a means of helping others. We who have been through the same thing are the ones who can best help other alcoholics.

Do I believe that I can be uniquely useful?

Meditation for the Day
I should try to practice the presence of God. I can feel that He is with me and near me, protecting and strengthening me always. In spite of every difficulty, every trial, every failure, the presence of God suffices. Just to believe that He is near me brings strength and peace. I should try to live as though God were beside me. I cannot see Him because I was not made with the ability to see Him else there were no room for faith. But I can feel His spirit with me.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may try to practice the presence of God. I pray that by doing so I may never feel alone or helpless again.

Hazelden Foundation

May 28, 2014 - A Day at a Time

A Day at a Time
Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Reflection for the Day
We've all had times when we felt alienated, when it seemed we had nowhere to turn and no one to turn to. When we don't know which way to turn, when there seems to be no one to help us, even then we're not alone or without help - the presence of God is always with us. When we need strength or courage or comfort, God is there with us as the help we need. Even before we turn to God, His love reaches out to us; His loving Spirit in us hears our cry and answers us.

Do I truly believe that I no longer need be alone?

Today I Pray
May I never be alone, even in a place by myself, if I take time to talk to my Higher Power. May He be my companion, my joy, my ever-present help in trouble. May the knowledge of His constant presence fill me with calm, so that I will not fear either the solitude of my own room or alienation in a roomful of people.

Today I Will Remember
Listen for the presence of God.

Hazelden Foundation

May 28, 2014 - The Eye Opener

The Eye Opener
Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Love is as necessary to a human being as sunshine is to a plant. Without it, the soul of man withers, shrivels and dies. Fortunate is the man who has love given to him, but even more fortunate is he who earns it. The only way to earn love is to love. Thou shalt love thy God with all thy heart and thy neighbor as thyself.

He who hoards love shall lose it, but he who scatters love about him as he moves through life finds that it takes root and surrounds him on every side.

Hazelden Foundation