Friday, July 19, 2024
Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
Disappointing Others
Learning the art of saying no to other people wasn't easy. I used to always come up with extravagant stories, excuses, or narratives for why I couldn't do something. Nobody ever taught me that I could just simply say no. I grew up believing that somehow saying no to others would do them harm. I didn't understand that saying yes sometimes causes myself harm. Like my friend Holly Whitaker says, "Disappoint other people with your no; don't disappoint yourself with a yes you'll later resent." Isn't that the truth?
There's such freedom in saying no. Perhaps you know this. I'm a recovering people pleaser, so it took me a little longer than most to figure this out. I'm really good at it now. When we say no to other people, we don't need to overexplain, lie, manipulate, justify, or make excuses. We can decline graciously, confidently, firmly. We don't need to justify our decisions. We can respond with a simple "Thanks for thinking of me, but I'm going to pass" or "Sorry, I'm unavailable for that" or even better, "No, thank you." If you don't already do this, try it out.
I'd rather disappoint others than disappoint myself.
Hazelden Foundation
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