Saturday, Sept. 17, 2022
Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
I always warned my little brother, “Don’t tell! No matter who asks, don’t tell!” — Madeline C.
Adult children are all too familiar with keeping quiet and laying low. We knew it was our job, though it wasn’t always stated, to keep the blanket of secrecy tucked in tight. “They” — our friends, teachers, neighbors — must never know. So we said nothing. Ever.
For many of us, not talking became a habit. And so did defensiveness, rationalization, and lying. To us, leaping from a plane without a parachute would have felt less dangerous than talking freely to a friend. “Sharing is dangerous!” the old tapes cry out when we momentarily relax in comradeship.
The task is to let go of the long-held secrets. No matter how painful the opening up process may be, it is absolutely essential to recovery. For us, sharing means heartache and happiness, triumph and tragedy — one the wellspring of the other. Silence is the prison; sharing is the key.
Today, I will remember that trusting a friend is not dangerous and will open myself to honest sharing.
Hazelden Foundation
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