Sunday, Feb. 26, 2012
Just for today, I must understand that I cannot take Step Seven of asking my Higher Power to "remove (my) shortcomings" without first surrendering completely to the Sixth Step of being "entirely ready" to be free of those shortcomings. And if I am clinging onto some character defect such as fear, resentment, anger, self-pity or remorse, I probably have not been thoroughly honest in my Fourth Step of "a searching and fearless moral inventory ..." Some - if not all - of those character dysfunctions likely triggered my drinking, at first abusively and eventually addictively, and holding onto them even with an honest desire to let go of them may threaten the quality of my sobriety - maybe my sobriety itself. An "honest desire" to surrender my defects, then, is not sufficient; because the Program is one of action, I must be active in releasing my defects and not taking them back. My thoughts, feelings and actions of yesterday influenced my subsequent tomorrows; thus, what I do today may well impact tomorrow, and my history of carrying from yesterday into tomorrow is one of self-destruction. Today, if I am mired in defects that I know contributed to my drinking, I must review my Fourth to see if it wasn't as "searching and fearless" as I had hoped. And our common journey continues. Just for today. - Chris M., 2012
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