Thursday, Sept. 13, 2018
"Above all, I was suffering inner pain because my performance and my accomplishments in life failed to live up to my own expectations of myself. I had to anesthetize that pain with alcohol. Of course, the more I drank, the more unrealistic my expectations became and the poorer my performance, and the gap widened. So the need to drink grew still greater." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Lost Nearly All," Ch 13 ("AA Taught Him to Handle Sobriety"), p 557.
Today, understand the reasons I concocted to drink were and are little more than excuses and, more, that maybe I should work a program that keeps me sober instead of keeping me from drinking. It's a fine line between struggling to keep from drinking and working to stay sober: by working only for the purpose not to drink, I probably am not applying the program's principles to get me sober. If so, I am not coming to terms with the "reasons" that I "had" to drink. And, by neglecting the psychological and spiritual sickness, I run the risk of losing or simply giving up the battle to keep from drinking. In the end, AA is intended to help us handle our living problems and not our drinking problem. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2018
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