Friday, Aug. 3, 2018
Today, I'm fed up - filled to the rim with those self-destructive, self-absorbed character defects like anger, self-pity and anxiety about what's been said and done, and what's ahead. And, today, I'm sick of carrying the garbage, the excess baggage that I acquired in my drinking days and may still be toting even without the booze. I want what AA promises - if I work for it. That means, finally, getting out from under the ponderous weight of that chip on my shoulder, and letting go means letting God and working the program so as not to take that weight back. Even if in sobriety I can rationalize or justify whatever resentment and any other ill feeling I harbor for someone or something, it has no role in recovery and, in fact, can derail it like a super-train jumping its track at 200 mph. The predictable outcome? Total self-destruction. I didn't come this far this long to fall apart or implode because of whatever self-destructive trap I have set. Today, I want to feel free of anger, self-pity, worry and resentment and, today, I'm fed up enough to get with the program. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2018
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