July 25, 2013 - Step by Step

Step by Step
Thursday, July 25, 2013

Today, I give self-pity the boot off my dance card. Just as alcohol drove me to being sick and tired of being sick and tired, so it goes with self-pity. The reason for self-pity can never be justified: for the alcoholic, self-pity ranks behind resentments as the quickest and surest way to a slip or relapse. But I have to ask why I harbor pity for myself or even recognize it as self-pity. Is it because I endured so many travails during and after my drinking days? Or maybe I lost a job or two, got a lifetime driver’s license suspension, drank my way into a sea of debt, got a divorce or two or separation, have family who still wants nothing to do with me. Or maybe there’s a more “acceptable” reason like death taking too much from me. And what is the function of self-pity? Maybe my ego still requires me to be the center of attention, or maybe I have a victim complex, or maybe I’m looking for justification to start drinking again – or to keep drinking. Or maybe I simply don’t know how to deal with whatever psychic pain that still hurts. Whatever its reason or purpose, self-pity serves only to impose isolation and keep me from feeling and living something better. Today, just as it did for drinking, the same goes for self-pity: enough’s enough! And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2013