Just for Today
Saturday, Dec. 8, 2012
Just for today, understanding that Step Nine requires me to atone to people I hurt with my drinking, I must also determine if some people are in a place in their own lives to accept my amends. The wisest measure may be in the Ninth Step's qualification that amends not be made, at least not immediately, if they compound the initial injury or hurt other people. If I determine honestly that some people who are owed amends cannot or should not yet receive them, I must further understand that I am not off the "hook." I can offer a gesture if none other than getting and staying sober and working the Program's Steps to build a new character for others to see. As for people to whom I can offer direct amends, I must also be on guard not to grovel or beg for forgiveness if my apology is rejected. We do not and cannot bow before anyone in shame or guilt, according to the Big Book. As such, I cannot allow myself to be made the proverbial doormat for all the wrongs in the lives of people to whom I owe amends. Today, fully respecting the integrity and intent of the Ninth Step, I need first to determine that I can offer immediate amends and, if I can, to guard against being subjected to doormat status. And our common journey continues. Just for today. - Chris M., 2012
Saturday, Dec. 8, 2012
Just for today, understanding that Step Nine requires me to atone to people I hurt with my drinking, I must also determine if some people are in a place in their own lives to accept my amends. The wisest measure may be in the Ninth Step's qualification that amends not be made, at least not immediately, if they compound the initial injury or hurt other people. If I determine honestly that some people who are owed amends cannot or should not yet receive them, I must further understand that I am not off the "hook." I can offer a gesture if none other than getting and staying sober and working the Program's Steps to build a new character for others to see. As for people to whom I can offer direct amends, I must also be on guard not to grovel or beg for forgiveness if my apology is rejected. We do not and cannot bow before anyone in shame or guilt, according to the Big Book. As such, I cannot allow myself to be made the proverbial doormat for all the wrongs in the lives of people to whom I owe amends. Today, fully respecting the integrity and intent of the Ninth Step, I need first to determine that I can offer immediate amends and, if I can, to guard against being subjected to doormat status. And our common journey continues. Just for today. - Chris M., 2012
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