Thursday, Aug. 15, 2019
"To my mind, drinking didn't have anything to do with not going through with things. I don't know whether I drank to cover up being a failure, or whether I drank and then missed the deals. I was able to rationalize it anyway. I can well remember over a long period of years when I thought I was the only person in the world who knew that sooner or later I was going to get drunk." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "Personal Stories," Ch 2 ("He Had to be Shown"), p 198.
Today, no wasting physical or emotional energy on asking, "Why me?" Did I drink because I was a failure, or maybe to celebrate being successful and I "earned" the right to drink? Or maybe I couldn't overcome some devastating loss and collapsed into a heap of self-pity or bruised ego. More likely the reason was that I was a predestined alcoholic and, more likely, I barreled toward masochistic self-destruction. Today, in recovery, "Why me?" is no longer relevant because what is, is, and the First Step of admitting I am powerless makes "Why me?" a pointless question. Today, instead of lamenting why I am an alcoholic, I'll focus on the Program that keeps me a sober one. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2019
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