Monday, April 14, 2014
Today, I realize that taking my Fourth Step only to the extent of identifying my destructive and good character components is not sufficient; I need also to understand the reason for them, especially the bad, so that the behavior will not trigger the wanton actions of my character defects. It is not enough, for example, to say I am sorry that I thought ill of my father and that I failed to respect him. I need to ask why I did not respect him; was I so selfish that I blamed him when he didn't get me the new car when I got my driver's license, or was it because he beat me when he was drunk - which might have been a lot? Similarly, if I identify a positive character trait, why do I think it is good? Is it because I sincerely want to do whatever is good for the pureness of unselfishness, or is it because I expect something in return, a marker to be called in down the road? Today, if I take my Fourth, I will try to understand it is not enough to name and ask my Higher Power to take away my character defects and hold onto the good without first knowing the reasons for them. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2014
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