Sunday, March 4, 2012
Just for today, if I extend a kindness or common courtesy to anyone but catch myself expecting something in return, even a simple "thank you," I have to ask how I am selfless if I expect anything in return. At a meeting, am I overtly or even unconsciously seeking approval or congratulations if I say how many 24 Hours of sobriety I have if it has no relevance to the discussion? Might I have a "motive?" If I volunteer to drive someone unemployed and whose jobless benefits have run out to a meeting, how service-oriented - what kind of Twelfth-Stepper - am I if I "suggest" a couple of bucks for gas money? And if the occasion comes up that I receive a token for however many 24 Hours I have acquired, do I want it to be "presented" with me standing behind the speaker's podium, or do I prefer a private exchange of support from my Sponsor? If I am honest enough to identify anything but a fully altruistic reason for my "service," something is clearly wrong, maybe not enough to endanger my sobriety but certainly wrong enough to crimp the quality of it. Today, if I get the opportunity to be of service to someone or if someone needs a simple kindness but if I feel a slight twinge of indignation or anger if I get nothing in return, may I be indignant at myself for my hyprocrisy - and get to work on it. And our common journey continues. Just for today. - Chris M., 2012
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