Monday, Nov. 28, 2022
Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
Creating Family
My dad was a great provider, but he was a physically and verbally abusive alcoholic. I don’t know how my mom didn’t kill him. I guess it’s why she stayed out of the house so much with church-related activities and other things. I know it was why I joined the military. I never got involved in sports or anything as a kid, because if I failed, I was afraid I’d hear about it. By the time I was thirteen, my self-esteem was all but gone. That’s when my dad’s drinking got to the blackout stages. He didn’t know what he was doing.
He hasn’t consumed alcohol for twenty-some years—he quit drinking about the time I left home. I was seventeen at the time. So the family joke for years has been, “Yeah, the day your dad quit drinking is the day you moved out.”
I’m more selective about relationships these days. Those closest to me are friends in recovery or “normies” in my family. I call this group of people my “framily,” because they are the family I’ve created.
Today I am thankful that in recovery we can create the family we wished for but never had.
— Joe K., U.S. Coast Guard, 1988‑1996
Hazelden Foundation
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