March 12, 2021 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Friday, March 12, 2021

Today, let me not forget that my character is one of extremes. One drink wasn't enough, so it became many to skyrocket me into oblivion. Anger wasn't expressed in acceptable forms and instead became spontaneous explosions of verbal or physical rage. Love was obsessive and possessive instead of allowing others to be themselves and not what I demanded they be. When I was drunk, I was the best thing to happen to anyone but, the morning after, I was the worst that happened to them - and myself. In apologizing, either I expected not just acceptance but praise for being "big" to apologize, or I was so self-defeating that I prefaced apologies with, "I wouldn't blame you if ..." Today, when I am faced with responding to anything, let me remember the Steps and Principles of surrender of self and will to a Higher Power, of humility, gratitude and selflessness, and reacting with neither expectation of unreasonable returns nor with self-deprecation. Today, I am sober. I am free to be what I am - and can be. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2021