Wednesday, Sept. 23, 2015
"For 18 years, from the age of 21 to 39, fear governed my life. By the time I was 30, I had found that alcohol dissolved fear. For a little while. In the end, I had two problems instead of one: fear and alcohol." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "Personal Stories," Ch 9 ("The Man Who Mastered Fear"), p 275.
Today, neither fear nor alcohol will be master because I understand now that both are choices - and I choose not to devote any part of today to either. Whether fear came first and triggered my drinking or if my drinking plunged me into fear of virtually everything is of no consequence anymore. Both feed each other, and my participation is required for the exchange to occur. Just as a toddler grows bored with crawling and pushes the challenge to stand on his own, so it is with me: I am tired and bored with my drinking, with fear and it pushing me to the bottle. The time has come to push the challenge to walk again on my own - in sobriety. AA is here to hold my hand. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2015
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